Withholding information can create distance between you and the other person. Tension can build and you may end up bringing the issue up at the wrong time, which could create additional conflict. Whatever the topic, avoiding difficult conversations only makes matters worse long term. ![]() It might be delivering bad news or bringing up a conflict of interest.Īn effective communicator remains open and honest to address issues as soon as they arise rather than avoiding or prolonging important discussions.Perhaps you dread telling your children about your cancer diagnosis or don’t want to hurt your partner by revealing an affair. People usually perceive a conversation as difficult when they are faced with telling someone something that person doesn’t want to hear. When faced with the possibility of a difficult conversation, many people choose to avoid or prolong the conversation as long as possible. When we are upset with someone, it is easy to say things such as, “You’re a jerk” or “You’re an idiot.” Rather than attack someone’s character, an effective communicator should address the actual behavioral issue and leave it at that. If you want someone to understand you, try being direct and try not to “beat around the bush” in conversation. We can’t expect other people to read our minds. Being Indirectīeing subtle and/or indirect in communication is usually ineffective. When using text or email communication, be sure to use appropriate punctuation and ask clarifying questions to ensure you understand the other person. Without tone of voice and nonverbal cues, it can be easy to misunderstand each other. In today’s society, we are more susceptible to misinterpretation, as we rely heavily on technological communication. To avoid this, it is best to give the person our full attention and paraphrase the message back to the speaker to ensure we have understood correctly. We may misinterpret others more often than we think. If we don’t, we may accidentally offend or miscommunicate with someone. When communicating with people from other cultural backgrounds, it’s important to account for cultural differences in communication styles. Words can take on different meanings, and cultural norms surrounding nonverbal communication may vary. Failing to Account for Cultural Differences in CommunicationĬross-cultural communication can be difficult. A good communicator allows emotions to sit for a while and then chooses to carefully respond rather than react. When we react emotionally, we are likely to say things we don’t mean. Letting Your Emotions Dictate Your Response Instead of saying, “You didn’t call me back…” try saying, “I felt hurt when you didn’t return my call.” 5. When we use “I” statements, we take ownership of how we feel and are less likely to make the other person feel attacked. It can be easy to say, “You did this” or “You didn’t do that.” When we are discussing our feelings with another person, we need to own those feelings rather than place the responsibility on the other person. Using “You” Statements Instead of “I” Statements Have respect for the other person, and allow them to finish the message entirely before you respond. Whatever the intention, interrupting can make a person feel invalidated, as if what they have to say is unimportant. Others may interrupt during arguments as a power move. It can happen accidentally, or we may get so excited about what we want to say and fear we will forget our response if we don’t just go ahead and say it. We’ve probably all interrupted another person midsentence once or twice. Honor the speaker by remaining openly curious and listening intently for the message rather than predicting what will be said. When we assume we know what the person will say, we miss what is actually being said. We’re listening to a friend speak, and we already assume we know what is going to be said before they finish their sentence. Assuming You Know the Message Before the Person Finishes ![]() Effective listening skills include making eye contact, asking clarifying questions, and remaining engaged. To avoid communication mishaps, it is best to give the speaker 100% of our attention.
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